Aita reddit adoption. AITA for not taking in my son and his family.

You could have explained to them that you couldn't adopt them unless their father gave them up, which is not likely. Adoption should be something everyone is onboard with, not something a kid/teen is bullied or guilt-ed into doing to make the adults happier. OP you are doing well. The joy you’ve given that family and your child can’t be expressed in words. 3 times as long as what you had. Adoption is permanent, and unless The girl is over 18 Tarra has every right to be present at any interactions. r/AmItheAsshole. They gave you up for adoption, and you were miserable in the orphanage and almost didn't escape. It doesn't matter what your bio family thinks; this is something that protects you and demonstrates who your true family is. The issue was that I did not have the qualities needed to be a good We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. There’s a lot to learn from adult adoptees who are speaking out now about emotional abuse they faced from their adopters. r/AITA_WIBTA_PUBLIC. She was bestfriends with my sister and lived in the same neighborhood. Find out if you were wrong or right in an argument. Many shelters have a mandatory 1 week waiting period before they neuter and put the pet up for adoption. My dad and her were sat on the couch and my s-aunt was recording. My son had very few of his own assets, so no estate. 2. Help keep the sub engaging! Asshole. It's incredibly inappropriate for an adult to even ask this of a child, much less one coming to them from trauma. My ex wife and I adopted our son when he was six. 9. She was crying and I was still angry so I let her go. I (25f) am super confused in this situation. AITA for telling my mom she should have bought a different child. Contact a lawyer immediately, and see if your regional laws allow you to apply for a protection order based on her actions, and cut contact with MIL. A catharsis for the frustrated moral philosopher in all of us, and a place to finally find out if you were wrong in an argument that's been bothering you. She wanted to be a parent for a long time and I took that chance from her. The girl is pro-choice, and *chose* not to get an abortion but instead put the kid up for adoption. 3K comments. I do not know the gender, and have been looking into possible parents for my baby, as my (now ex) boyfriend AITA for Not Wanting to Adopt My Fiancée’s Child from Another Relationship? My fiancée (28F) and I (28M) have been together for 6 years, and few years ago, I was devastated to find out she had cheated on me. You are NTA for not wanting to adopt your nephews. Basically, the concept of a 9-year-old's opinion being the sole or even primary basis for deciding adoption status would be extremely unusual. They had no idea how OP felt about being given up for adoption. RequirementNormal236. My ( 23 F) friend ( 39 F ) has been fostering a 6 y/o little girl since she was 1. ESH. My own sons birth parents are basically unknown to us. They got matched with ‘Jess’ who is 13. She looked so worn down and sad. Your adoptive parents are your parents. She’s kind of panicking a bit and telling everyone to just start writing something. He was the father of only the latest kid. But now that I'm 19 and I have made contact with my own birthmom I know that my adoption was the best choice for her and for me. (They also provide financial assistance, housing, job training, job placement, parenting classes, etc. AITA for not taking in my son and his family. I defended the foster/ adoption system because I myself am an adoptive parent. She has to look out for her child. While my youngest child is my last, obviously we weren't going to give him up. They provided adoption services as a way to assist pregnant women who don’t want to abort or parent. Any-Blackberry-5557. All names are fake. I (34F) have 3 kids, 2 are adopted from China. Let them go to foster care and don't feel guilty about it. Just talk it over with your wife and take your time, do research and don’t jump into it. AITA For Not Supporting My Sister so She Can Adopt My Brother's Son? This is a throwaway because my relatives use reddit. My brother was diagnosed with ADHD a few years before me, my parents were fairly good about it and tried to get me support this subreddit is for a podcast called reddit on wiki, that reads reddit stories. 2) robbing my sister of the chance of becoming a parent and adopting our nephew. Go to AITA_WIBTA_PUBLIC. The surprise was her asking to adopt me and become my mom. Then we got a divorce (a year later) after she informed me she was pregnant but wasn't sure AITA for giving my sister up for adoption? Not the A-hole. true. My former adoptive mother was also my stepmother. So we put it off. Award. NTA -Giving your child up for adoption was probably the most selfless thing you ever did. AITA for not adopting my niece and nephews? Not the A-hole. I was also very quiet and well behaved while my sister was wild. When we said "We're adopting" the first words out of my sister's(now 32F) mouth were "Me too" I was very confused as she had never seemed interested in adoption so I asked her what she meant a few minutes later and she started telling me all about the new Yeah I used to do this. After a lot of thought, I decided to stay and work through our issues Read this before contacting the mod team. Difference is, I grew out of thinking my way of looking at adoption was the only one by the time I was in my mid-20s. But tried to claim the other woman’s baby. Had 2 court hearings so far, and another one will be in ~2 weeks. NAH for not adopting them; that clearly isn't possible. Edit: Posted an update here. Denise is 40. I met one of my cousin's kids for the first time. That adoption provides you so much safety and security - your adoptive parents are now your next of kin. I likely will be entering hospice sometime in 2024- I just want a final holidays at home. I babysat a lot for her--I was attending college locally, so I was r/AmItheAsshole. AITA for suggesting my pregnant sister should put her baby up for adoption? Asshole. The normal response to this should be to respect your wishes and stop pressuring you. no, she didn't have that information before they broke up, but she's now faced with r/AmItheAsshole. Your calm. I (30 f) was legally adopted by undergraduate professor after she stepped into a mothering role when I was in undergrad. They pressured to to lie to your sister while both of you were in a traumatic foster-to-adopt situation after being taken from your parents. She accused you of being a bad mom, attempted to bully your husband, then acts all imperious, like she has the right to tell you what to do and that you don’t get a choice and you have to help her. ago u/Finartemis. Their average age is 8-9 and more than half have behavioral or medical issues. TemporaryCook76. Join the community of moral philosophers and share your dilemmas. Time for both to start growing up and cut the umbilical cord and relying on mommy. I would like details from the OP, but the time line was at least a week. Actually only $3k less than what my husband makes depending on tips. In foster care, there are about 100K kids available for adoption. So we decided that I would adopt Carter and told I couldn’t care less what your sister “took hard. Shit mom says “I want the half with the face!”. If you have a baby, you won't even truly get to enjoy him or her because all your energy will be spent yelling at someone else's rugrats. But there's trauma even with infant adoption (look up primal wound theory if you're interested). OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: 1- I tried to adopt my nephew against my sisters wishes 2- I may be the AH because I called cps on my sister to help the adoption process with my nephew. Dufflecat. It's far more likely that the circumstances of adoption would have to be deemed unsuitable. I'd have rather adopted than done IVF, but adoption isn't easy and, in the end, I was relieved when a $6/month diabetes med let me conceive. 7K votes, 473 comments. But I also value family, so I have reached out to my cousin who, contrary to belief, does make an income, and not necessarily a bad one. I told my wife hoping she’d understand but she started screaming at me. Pet will be returned when paid in full. Bearing a child is a big responsibility, but adopting a child is an even BIGGER one. When we found out we were expecting [son], Susan started asking if we wanted to give him up to them and only have two children. I mean, duh, come on. Donating bone marrow is a low-risk, mild discomfort procedure. Its not a decision I regret. After which I started the adoption process, that still goes on. First, adoption = trauma. There is no way that this situation wouldn't completely confuse, emotionally scar, and hurt the child that she claims to love. You made the right choice. OP said they just recently broke up, and the plan was already for him to adopt the kid, so it's not like she was asking an estranged ex for money out of the blue. Lots of unhinged Redditors berating a 16 year for not getting an abortion when she became pregnant. While it was hard for Sarah to adapt at first, she loves us and is our daughter. If she persists in attempting to contact you, contact the police, and have harassment charges filed against her. Canadian law is pretty similar to the USA, England, Australia, and New Zealand, as all are based on British law and all look to each other as evolution influences. I was adopted when I was 5 years old by a couple who were 28 and 30 at the time. I'll be honest with you. My cousin had a stillbirth and there was a funeral service held. This past year, two things happened. She eventually had my nephew "Evan" (now 8 ). AITA for wanting to give my baby up for adoption? Not the A-hole. I was visiting family in South America 13 years ago. Here’s where it gets tricky: all doctors refuse to perform surgery in a young kid so I sadly decided I had to give him up for adoption. So at this point I’m like whatever, I’ll just play into it, so I look upset and I’m like “I didn’t know I was adopted!”. r/AmItheButtface 7 mo. Speaking of AITA posts related to adoption So, um, I got banned from AITA for 7 days for saying "Adoption isn't a cure for infertility" to pretty much 12K votes, 5K comments. She's an amazing kid and loves me and my family. My husband " James" and I have been married 3 years but have been in a romantic relationship for a total of 5 years. Yes. Anyway. Your sister should’ve given you more instructions on how to care for the chinchilla. AITA for changing my adoptive son's name and telling off his birth family. I was adopted when I was a baby and my adoptive parents (50s) did their best to raise me and support me through college. Before the podcast started reading reddit stories, the hosts would choose a topic and research it using Wikipedia. 4. Tell us about any non-violent conflict you have experienced; give us both sides of the story, and find out if you're right, or you're the asshole. I'm currently pregnant and two weeks ago we found out it was a . That’s the limit for siblings too young to consent for themselves, and even minor siblings old enough to consent for themselves generally aren’t allowed to donate kidneys or liver lobes until they’re 18. Because of their unstable relationship, my sister never introduced him to our family until they were married. You have NO moral or legal obligation toward that adopted child. I would have said much, much worse to your sister, I promise you. Kai calls me mom and has since he was 4. This. I (31M) met my ex-girlfriend (29F) on a dating app ~7 years ago. Carter was really into the idea, but Alex was not. Not the A-hole. Adoption is a difficult choice- there are ethical issues with it, especially international adoption. Maybe international adoption would be better suited, since the bio parents/families are usually not involved. The cat's owner should have noticed and started calling shelters and vets after a day or less. As someone who is adopted myself, your sister is being extremely selfish. She gave me up for adoption and gave me so many more opportunities in life. Recently my 17th birthday passed. Whatever you do, do not let her anywhere near your children. It’s always been a dream of my parents to adopt (me and bro are bio-kids) and they had come to the decision that they want to adopt an older kid. A lot of my friends are laughing under their breath because they know I’m not adopted so she’s telling everyone quiet down AITA: I'm adopted and I don't want my mom to adopt again. INFO: This is so much bigger than AITA. Reply reply. The affair resulted in a baby boy, who is now 3 years old. My sister (18f)Is pregnant. Archived post. She (and your entire family) are pushing you for utterly selfish reasons, none of which have to do with the best interests of the baby. It always, "Fat Person Ruined My Life! It can't be my fault, ever, because I am thin and thin is good and fat is evil!" My boss said he would do the same thing. These are completely valid feelings to have. He met his wife when he was 18. AITBF for refusing to adopt my ex-wife's daughter? My ex-wife (f26) and I (m26) were highschool sweethearts and got married when we were 19. 1. When my brother (M35) Jake went to jail for a short stint, I (m30) was on paper, the best candidate to take care of his son (m7) John. It isn't just learning the language and adapting. My (31f) sister (27f) was married to A for 3 years. But if your own son is the kind of trash who abandons his biological children, you should exclude your son and give his share to your grandchildren whom you love and who are also your biological grandchildren. The list of people wanting to adopt babies is far longer than the list of people actively giving up babies, which is why a lot of people do foster-to I'm (26F) married to my husband of two years, Devon (30M), I have a son named Levi (5M) from a previous relationship. Even if OP’s adoption had worked out, that doesn’t mean she’s cool with being adopted. You'll ruin your sanity and marriage if you take them on. For adoptive families, birth families, adoptees, current and former foster youth, and other interested individuals to share stories, support each other, and discuss adoption-related news. AITA for refusing to adopt my sisters baby. for women who do want to parent. We had been his foster parents for three years and we wanted to make it official. When I was 23 I decided to search for my biological parents,and long story short they were teenagers (14 r/AmItheAsshole. However you could have done a lot better than accusing your stepchildren of being disrespectful when that obviously wasn't their intention. Your bio parents had NO right to attack them and you were totally right to defend them, just as any loyal child would defend their own parents. The reason it has not happened is Lee does not want me to adopt him and my husband did not feel comfortable with me adopting only Kai. AITA for trying to give my sister a much needed reality check? I feel like she needed to hear that if she ever wants to have a real family, and not just a literal toy that she pretends is a baby. Lee calls me by my first name. I tried to stop her but she told me to fuck off and left the house before our parents got home. Due to the current situation, she is not living with us, but we’ve met Thank you so much for making an adoption plan for your child. putyerphonedown. This beautiful boy is the light of my life but it NTA, and I'd like to congratulate you on finding your family. ) If you adopt the baby, it'll give a whole new meaning to "Johnny has two mommies". Levi looks a lot like his father and AITA for going back on an offer to adopt my cousin? Not the A-hole. I was banned from a group on FB called Feed my Drama Llama after I made a post for a friend about her potential adoption of a black child she had been fostering. She knew he was adopted and she thought it would be good for him to get to know his biological parents. People cross-post stories for a chance that our podcast hosts (Sean, John and Josh) will read the story on the show. The whole sunny impression of adoption (in the US at least) is that it's the best option for everyone. Taking the posts seriously is heavily discouraged. Devon loves Levi with all of his heart, and Levi loves him too, I know it. 3 years ago we got matched we decided to announce it to the family at our Christmas party. Swear on my dog's head, it's the same Fat People FanFiction they used to post on FatPeopleHate. The king says, fine if you can’t agree; well cut the baby in half and give you each half of the baby. AITA for ruining English Mother's Day for my former adoptive mother? Not the A-hole. After we did dinner and had cake they all set up a surprise in the living room. I was stunned and just Shook my head. Good mom says “don’t kill this baby over our dispute. YTA. My husband grew up with two sisters, but when he was a senior in high school his mom came home from vacation with a baby, well call her "Katie" now i have no idea how she managed to get an adoption through so quickly, or how she managed to adopt without her husband's consent but she was in a foreign country, so maybe things are different over there. So far, things went well, so hoping for the best. She and my father forced the adoption on me against my will when I was 7 because she couldn't have children biologically, my mom was dead and they felt like she "deserved" the official mother title and a place A place to satirize, crosspost from, poke fun at, and hold meta discussions on the never-ending ridiculous stories and creative writing exercises from AITA and AITA-adjacent subs, including classic tales of your local reddit heroes seeking validation. 7K votes, 1. She was unable to have kids and I had abusive addict parents, and she stepped in as a mentor and mother figure. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: adopting the child my sister wanted to adopt. She got pregnant by a unprotected one night stand so she dosent know who the dad is. She has the opportunity to pursue adoption but has received They are your bio parents, and that's it. Your sister wants to have all the benefits and none of the responsibilities of being a mother. Exactly!!! I think that if you don’t want to adopt, I respect your opinion, I’d rather you don’t adopt than be put in a situation where you don’t give the child the nurturing they deserve, but don’t push your notion vehemently on anyone else. My adoptive father was diagnosed with cancer, and my adoptive mother got pregnant for the first time in decades. As someone who was adopted as a baby I often wondered what it would be like if I had stayed with my birth mom. It also sounds like they aren't getting a ton of post adoption help which usually involves a social worker coming into the home for up to a year after the adoption to help the process. Now my sister and parents have been hinting at me to keep the Correct. I adopted my husband's niece Sarah 9 years ago. It’s completely ok if you don’t want to adopt, whether it be ever or at the moment. AITAH for not putting my unborn baby up for adoption : r/AITA_WIBTA_PUBLIC. I (19f) was adopted at birth by my parents (61f, 62m) and they also adopted my brother (26m) from a different family. Susan and James were looking into adoption as they haven't been able to have children. Some more info would help people see the full picture. She had a son (6 months at the time, she was with multiple guys and ended up pregnant, still doesn't know who's the bio father), but it wasn't that much of NTA. She just gets assistance because of having 5 kids. I (27F) grew up being pretty close to my cousin (also 27F). AITA has reached a new low. You gave up your dog so you could move new people in. I had some trouble conceiving and looked at all our options. To make a long story short, I’m 16, and currently pregnant, 33 weeks. Then in high school she got really into the drugs/party thing and ended up dropping out in her senior year. Yes, and often if it’s a still birth there’s some memories kept (photos, birth and death certificates) if she was 8 months, she would’ve had to give birth to the baby and then they would do a burial depending on the parents wishes. This is in the States. Help keep the sub engaging! For my present my niece decided to give me adoption request papers or whatever they are ( I never ended up reading them). Meaning their #1 concern is taking care of women in crisis pregnancies. After my ex and I had our daughter, Emily, we decided to talk to the other kids about me legally adopting my ex's two older kids (Alex and Carter). Feel free to share your honest opinion in the Sadly, ex passed away, roughly 3 months ago. AITA for going back on letting my husband adopt my daughter because he cheated? I (50F) am dying from esophageal cancer. I can’t thank them so I will say again to you, thank you thank you thank you. the subject matter is not restricted, so you can post what you really want to talk about. Yeah I was thinking if you're given up for adoption to start with I don't believe you're likely to spend time in foster care, and it certainly wouldn't take two years to get it legally finalised. Their mother passed away 7 years ago. AITA upset my parents don't consider my adopted daughter their granddaughter. post your stories inquiring if you are or would be the asshole. A couple years later Carter brought it up and he really wanted me to adopt him. I jokingly called her mom for a few years before she There are more prospective adoptive parents than there are INFANTS for adoption. Depending on the situation, Medicare can seize assets of family members for payment of medical services if those assets were the deceased person’s within the last 5 years. AITA for not wanting to adopt my "dying" ex-girlfriends child? Not the A-hole. Devon has known him his whole life, Levi's father and I were together until he went missing before our son was born. Prior to their elopement, they were on and off for about 4 years. My mom didn't want me and I used to be really jealous of adoptees because in my mind the fact that someone chose to adopt them made them automatically wanted and loved. I feel bad for the kids. Growing up, I was always closer to our mother since we were closer in age and had similar interests. It made me so angry and I told her that "Our parents chose to adopt me, you were an accident so watch what you say!" She screamed at me and left the room after that and began packing up her stuff. I (30F) am getting married to my fiance in May. Bringing the rest of the family along and then saying “we’ve had a great life” is going to hurt the one family member who didn’t get to be a part of that. Apparently this makes her an asshole for some of the AITA regulars. At 16 you realized you were not capable of being a mother so you gave her a chance at life with a loving family. NTA. We always had a good relationship and I obviously love them. The fact that OP didn't know this was actually true and so brushed it off changes nothing there. she's recently had to change financial prospects for one of the kids, so she's a little stuck. People who go into foster care expecting to adopt a baby are not a good fit. •. We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. Above comment is correct, there’s literally no way for a parent to refuse to consent to a kinship adoption but allow the possibility of a stranger adoption through the foster system. Memes allowed, shitposts only on weekends. We are using our own money, some of which was indeed set aside for Dave Sr's graduate schooling, but still, our money. names are changed for anonymity of course My husband and I took in his cousin Sues newborn due to her and her partner Johns addiction issues. I and a lot of other adoptees are now speaking out about it because it's bullshit. A good adoption agency would definitely talk about the age gaps and discrepancies as it can cause huge issues in the family. Kai has wanted me to adopt him for some time now and it was something discussed. We adoptees act certain ways because there is always the inkling of fear that do one wrong thing and you’ll be thrown out One rolled over on her baby and smothered it in sleep. That’s what leaving debt behind usually looks like, yes. Take it home the day before they get back and keave a bill in its place. You ignored the dog you gave up for a month. So much fantasy. If she really wanted to do the best thing for this baby she would put them up for adoption. From the way the post was written, it sounds like your father wants adopt an infant or young child. ADMIN MOD. We had a little party at the house just the family and my step grandparents and her sister. Throwaway, as people at my school know my reddit and they don’t need to know my business. Absolutely NTA. I (15F) live with my parents (mid-40s) and my brother (9M). Vote and comment on others' posts. You are trying to insert yourself into a life that is sounded like has been going on for a decade. Did Erica and your son receive comprehensive counselling BEFORE deciding to allow you to adopt their child? Did they continue to receive counselling until, at a bare minimum, 30-60 days (preferably, a good 12 months +) after the child was born? We are comfortable financially, and decided to pay her monthly " child support" equal to what my son eould have paid, according to our state formula, if he made $30k a year. Many bio parents who choose adoption get to chose the family their baby goes to these days and will want some type of open adoption, even if it's just letters and pictures once or twice a year until the child is an adult. ”. The young woman had just had her third kid and had been left by her boyfriend. OPs parents should have long ago stepped in and had a good talk to the sister. A place to satirize, crosspost from, poke fun at, and hold meta discussions on the never-ending ridiculous stories and creative writing exercises from AITA and AITA-adjacent subs, including classic tales of your local reddit heroes seeking validation. AITA for causing a scene when my sister (26) stole my pregnancy announcement? My sister Lila (28F) and I (34F) are both the children of a single mother. It’s a lot harder for them to seize assets of someone who is unrelated. These kids have been abandoned (regardless of the reasons), theydepending need to have a stable, supportive family . Please, please read up adoption trauma and experiences of adult adoptees who are now talking. It is not the job of a child to lie on behalf of an adult. But they are even more the AHs for allowing sister to bully OP with being adopted for apparently many years. I am getting married in october and the baby is due in august. They had no other children. oe mb qe ow ej zo ne ob rn gz