I want to make this work because she is everything to me but I don’t know how to trust her again. TLDR - Speak to her, work together as a team. Okay to start this off, I’m looking for advice on how I can resolve my own insecurities and thought process. I just can't do it. You need to tell her, break up, and let both of you move on. It shouldn't bother us. You don't trust her or you wouldn't say that plus she messaged her friend and unless the message was inappropriate again don't trust her and then you used her as your emotional punching bag because you were stressed. Leave her be. Good luck and all the best. 1. Trust will never be restored and this relationship is doomed. He mentioned it jokingly like it was normal, and mu boyfriend does tell me that he talks/acts differently about us around his guy friends. As far as I'm concerned, opening the mail and going through your phone are all firing offenses. I don't trust the guy. She has proven that you cannot trust her about this. My (20F) girlfriend and me (19M) have been dating for about 6 months. Trust your gut on this one. My [17m] girlfriend's [15f] parents don't trust me. Being in a relationship means sometimes you have to give stuff up for your partner and it’s clear she’s not willing too. Sorry for the long post. If she can't take that, leave her. I posted here a little while ago about telling my gf and all that came with that. She didn’t ask for that protection though. While messaging one of my best friends, she also mentioned that she was going to break up with me. The only problem is that she has a habit of pushing boundaries when So my partner has gave me no reason to not trust her the last 3 months we have been together. I just realized, that I don't know anything about my girlfriend. I am again fine with this but I asked my girlfriend to tell me when they all go to his room. (Sorry if that was phrased horribly) Anyways, about almost 3 weeks ago I started getting very vivid dreams of my girlfriend leaving me, leaving me for someone else & cheating on me. My girlfriend is currently completing her Phd 16 votes, 29 comments. Purple_saveslives. true. You can and should have any friend you want. Right now she’s on a weekend away with all her single friends (important little detail), and I don’t trust her in the… ADMIN MOD. Sorry to say. If you rush things, she probably will get into a fight with her parents, worst case her parents will ask you two to break up. I'm thinking about confronting her, but she might lie again My girlfriend thinks i don't trust her. She is not mature if she believes her friends based on zero evidence. I do trust her, I am fine with her doing all of that, and I messed up. I was a bit salty in my messaging but told her that she can be friends with who she wants, I can't control who she spends time with, it's up to her etc etc. Learn to understand your signs and what is your depression causing irrational thoughts. NedStarkRavingMad. However, my mom did not want me to be told. Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. You need to break it off and move on. So to close off, the answer to your title's question must be an absolute and inquestionable NO. Well, we don't know what he may or may not have done with his ex. And they can see the relationship from an outsider’s view. My advice for you to move on. They need to see someone about their disorder or it will only get worse; They will only get worse; Your relationship will only get worse. • 2 yr. Trust issues with my girlfriend I (28 M) have been together with my girlfriend (21 F) for more than 3 years and I can't trust her in any way. " or something. The circumstances of my relationship make everything 10x harder for me. Controlling her clubbing won't fix this. This is about “Am I willing to adjust the things I do to make sure my girlfriend has no doubt in my mind of loyalty and importance. I've been thinking about this lately now because I realize I don't trust her, but I love her. If you don’t trust her then break up with her. Trust is the foundation of any relationship and if you can’t trust her, best to move on. That's fine, but that doesn't excuse her violating your privacy. When we started going out her friend who I've never met made a comment to her about I truly don’t have any, she doesn’t hide anything she does, she keeps me updated in everything she does, where she goes, who is she with, if I ask she let me go through her phone with no problem, she just seems a little disappointed in me, but probably because she feels a little hurt seeing I can’t trust her a lot, I have gone through her You are in no way obligated to follow my or anyone's advice. Yesterday I found out that my girlfriend was texting and meeting with her previous boyfriend behind my back. She wont communicate and therefore wont help me win back her trust. I saw messages between her and her girlfriends talking about meeting up with him. I've fallen in love with her, I'm completely mad about her and I could spend the rest of my life with her. You know your current fling has a boyfriend and you still sleep with her. If you don't know why you don't trust her, then start there. I don't 100% trust my girlfriend, but it's more like I have been conditioned to not trust anyone. Bruh. We met at a party met her through her friend who liked me at the time but I didint like her back. You ain’t ready for a woman. And to answer your question: yes I am in a long-term relationship and yes I would break up as soon as I'm not happy anymore or feel like I can't trust my partner. Even before we got together, I would feel overprotective if I saw her feeling hurt, or someone flirting with her, but back then I couldn't say much about it. ADMIN MOD. If it wasn’t at a frat that had bad rep then you would be in the wrong. . I don't trust any person at all and it's very depressing. Counselling is not helping me at all. Treat her lovingly, but don't build your life on someone else. Second, if she decides she wants to be with someone else you don't want here to stay with you just because you want it. I want to love someone or be loved, but due to my past experience I am afraid to get into relationship coz I can't trust any girl. 10. Because you are a lot more likely to hurt her than the reverse, and not just emotionally. TLDR: my girlfriend think me being cautious about things is not trusting her decisions. I… My girlfriend is 18, I am 19. She’s perfect to say the very least. I've been dating my girlfriend for almost a year now and about 7 months ago she cheated on me saying that she's single and that i'm just a friend to a guy and also texted her ex. and frankly that's irrelevant to the bigger (and clearer) picture here: You make entirely too many sacrifices for him in this relationship, and he doesn't treat you very well. Like that’s a sweet idea in your head and maybe well intentioned, but you’re assuming she wants protection (because you think she needs it) and then your friend is complaining about it to her the whole night out. This is the main source of my anxiety, when we go out together she often hangs out and talks with her ex or ex friends with benefits and, despite me knowing she will stay faithful this makes me very anxious and thus unhappy. We started dating after meeting each other at work and interacting for a while. Sounds like she likes to party, are you going to always try to stop her? You don’t sound compatible at all. She is either cheating on you, cheating on someone else, or engaging in some form of prostitution. My girlfriend is an attractive young girl. You're really not responsible for convincing someone you're a good person if they don't want to believe you - and it's telling that she's worried you're going to break up with her even though she thinks you are cheating. My (27M) girlfriend (33F) is not doing anything. You can’t make someone happy who isn’t happy with themselves, which is what I’m getting from this. I want to marry her, but small things keep holding me back to fully commit and trust her. On New Years Eve, I looked thru his phone and saw that he was texting other girls calling them cute and asking if he could cook for them or take them out for dinner. Instead of communicating about something that he isn't happy about he chose the easy route and cheated. I now feel because I’m always on the defensive I’m indirectly pushing her away because I don’t want to let my guard down, this is in turn making the situation worse. TL;DR I'm really in love with my girlfriend but I don't trust her and this are some situations that got me to don't trust her, because she is always playing the innocent card but this situations will eventually lead to her slipping and cheating on me: Crying because she was a bad person with her ex and going out with him repeatedly I Don't Trust my Girlfriend's Friends. One continues to say "I love you" to her. My girlfriend and I have been together for just over 4 months now. • 11 yr. macca-roni. If thats how you feel you should probably seek out support. My girlfriend and I have been together for 8 months and for the most part things have been great. ”. Then I told her that I had lost all trust for her and it is going to talk a lot on her part for her to get it back. There isn't secrecy, gaslighting, deception, and severe disrespect. Don’t trust my girlfriend. You got to get that in your head first. We already traveled together quite a lot when it was managable. Reply. After about a month of talking about things I decided to get back with her and give her another chance. Period. We have been together for about 7 months but I've known her for two years and liked her ever since. I am so tired and starting to be emotionally unavailable because of my coping My girlfriend [17F] and I [16M] have a been in a relationship for about 5 months-ish and it's obvious she would never cheat or be disloyal however my friend is the type to cheat on someone (i dont really consider him a friend in full anyway, just somewhat of a classmate or so) and has been disloyal to his girlfriend. Girls go out with their friends to laugh, dance and have a great time together. TL;DR Your girlfriend doesn't trust you because she doesn't love herself and needs to get help in that regard. I think you need to trust your girlfriend a bit more, if you've been in an LDR for 2 years you shouldn't suspect her of suddenly cheating on you just because "I know how guys work". Just go on a wild dicking spree, feel sad and empty, decide to turn it all around and work on yourself, and come back to her in like a year. Believe her. I have some serious trust issues with my current girlfriend of 5 years, and I’m not sure if it is me or it’s been warranted. some are really small ones like not cleaning up after herself, always being “too tired” to put her dishes in the dishwasher. you are not supposed to trust her anymore. That was a dumbass move not leaving. Me (20M) and my girlfriend (20F) have been dating for 9 months and never had a serious argument until today. He cheated on you, he has no respect for you or your relationship. I feel insecure when my gf is going to the club. But recently I’ve been seeing her 2. It’s okay to decide that you don’t want to be in a committed relationship. It’s not lack of trust in the gf, it’s the lack of trust for the other people who are attending a party in a frat that has a questionable rep. The thing that kills me is if I have trust issues and in reality I should trust her, than my trust issues themself could kill a potentially great relationship, and I don't want that. TL;DR: My girlfriend doesn’t trust me anymore because of a dinner with female coworkers that resulted in me missing her texts and neglecting to tell her about a girl who was at dinner. Cut your losses - you both deserve better. So after my breakup with by girlfriend coz she betrayed me after trusting her So much, now I cannot trust any girl at all. She has done nothing but give me reassurance and everything I need to trust her. She then blocked him on all platforms. It's not that I don't trust her. I understand her desires to see the world, but I don't understand why she can't wait for the opportunities to get to see unknown places together (her: "It's just not the same"). Tldr; my girlfriend wants reassurance 24/7 but doesnt believe me when i give it to her and she blames me for all our relationship problems and takes no accountability for problems we both play a part in. What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, or situations involving minors and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). I don't think you're ready to be in a Despite her expressing her love for me very very often, and me doing the same I just don't really trust het being faithful and I am always afraid of us falling apart and breaking up. Being suspicious, demanding or whinny is the best way to become unworthy of love. Tonight, she said she's sleeping at her mom's, when i got back from work (i work late) her car wasn't parked near the house. And for the love of God don't commit to any joint financial obligations with her or get pregnant to save the relationship. No don't even bother being with her, unless you are into drama. However last night I did something a little stupid, I’m on a little business tour and since the main purpose has already been done, there’s nothing more to do You’re excusing your behavior by saying you’re single, but it still doesn’t make you any better. Me (21 male) has been having issues with my girlfriend (20 female), we have been dating for almost a year and do live together. Clearly youre not. I always have the feeling that she had more fun with those people then with me and I can just not shake this feeling. She then offered to give me her card/pin number so I could go and get it out myself, as she was ill at the time. I started noticing that she seemed busy and was reluctent to call at times. So apparently Brian and my girlfriend are cousins and they both told me as such( his uncle is fucking her mom so they aren’t actually related). I'm 28 and she is 27, we have been together for over 5 years now. I wouldn't give my current, or any other past/future, girlfriend my pin. I have no idea what kind of food she likes, I don't know what kind of clothes she prefers, I don't even know for sure if she's a good person. She always has guys hitting on her , I don't have much problem with that because she won't leave me, yet I say that to tease her (fuckups 1), I really wanted to talk to her of the problems at work, and I was really low, she didn't have time and stuck me off. Move on, find a woman mature enough to show you what a real relationship is. I normally don’t ask about body count but she was the one who asked so I answered truthfully and she lied about hers. [deleted] • 5 yr. Unfortunately me and my gf don’t live near each other, so I had to ring her and confront her. Her school is having a dance in about a week. Last night we were out and she told me to tell her something I Yes. Everything has been going great so far. So now I am sick in the relationship, and will be sick without her. Here’s the actual problem that i don’t necessarily have an answer for, more so looking to see what type of advice or ways of perceiving my issue. Yes. We have been seeing eachother for a year, and she moved in with me last october. 23. Whether it's romance, friendship, family, co-workers, or basic human interaction: we're here to help! Realising my Gf doesn’t respect me UPDATE. While you're worrying about being unable to trust her, I'm a lot more worried about her trusting you. She is fine with it when i [18] go, so i dont want to forbid it to her, i am worrie about she kiss somebody else or 2 years ago I was seeing this girl for about 2-3 months things weren't very serious and we weren't officially dating, but we admitted to each other we wanted to eachother, anyway she lived with her parents and they had a cabin on there property and her ex was going through some type of hardship and her parents let him stay in the cabin. Healthy successful relationships don't look like this. Finally, another has sent hundreds of dollars over the year, even offering her a trip to Japan right before we started dating. Anyway, she calls him almost, if not, every single night. We were having a…. Most girls don’t go to a party and all the girls get drunk, at least one of the girls is sober just for safety reasons. I disagree with her decision. petdance. Im (male 20) in a relationship (female 19) where I cannot trust my girlfriend at all. Yes, you are entitled to privacy. I have anxiety so sometimes I overthink it but I feel like there is something she isn’t telling me. The need to control your partner is extremely dangerous, and it has gotten people killed, especially women. It's important to understand that they have a shared history and something keeping them in contact. I asked my therapist and he said that I should trust her and that I should be brave enough to get hurt by other people, but I just can't. I’ve been cheated on by 2 girls in the past and have big trust issues. I have a massive fear about getting cheated on. So my girlfriend (19F) and I (21M) have been together for about 2 years. The "off" feeling i have now is the same i had when i looked over her shoulder and discovered the truth. You clearly don't struggle to get laid, you have a girlfriend, so it seems to an outside observer its all in your head. Relationships. And previously our relationship has been a little rocky over the past few weeks. I mentioned that what she did was wrong in terms of the relationship we have, naturally if she wanted . I [M28] want to fully trust my girlfriend [F27], but she does things that make me hold back. Approach the discussion from your insecurities being the issue and not that she's done anything to be not trusted. You made your decisions and now you have to live with hers. I haven’t slept well for weeks, i am constantly overthinking and I do not trust her at all. I don't know who he is, I don't know his intentions. Hello, I'm 19, my girlfriend is 18, the friend is 18, and its a LDR. Award. My girlfriend is currently completing her Phd I told her that I don't trust this guy at all, that I'm worried he is the kind of slimeball to take advantage of her when she's drunk. In my mind, if you truly loved her and valued her, you wouldn’t have strayed. This sounds exhausting. My name is jay, hers is Shawna and the friend is Aaron. And I see now that it is a bit controlling, and she is saying that I don’t trust her. I have a hard time trusting my girlfriend. You can trust women. I replied in one word answers, and let it like that. We've been together for 5 months and we're both 18. Lately I've been losing trust in my girlfriend and it's getting worse everyday, I'm a very jealous person and I know it but I feel that she is just pushing the boundaries of a normal relationship, it affects me a lot because I've been losing my tranquility and I'm Nip this in the bud. Trust me, you will get sick of it quickly. We have been dating for 2 years and 4 months and have recently moved in together. I don't know if this is an overreaction or not but i made a new reddit account for it so i don't think it is lol Me (14M) and my girlfriend (14M) go to different schools, we live about 10-15 minutes apart. You’re not the thief, but you’re still an accomplice. ” Your friends might not know the person you’re dating like you do, but they know YOU. Break up with her and give her a chance of finding true love cause that's not you. Trust takes a long time to rebuild, be patient and honest. I ended up asking her about a guy she has been friends with since middle school if they had something going on and the look was that I broke her heart by even asking that. Next, not all chicks are like that. She isn't trustworthy. Threatening self-harm for breaking up is always a red flag. I (22M) don't know if I can trust my girlfriend (19F) while I'm overseas. She is not the one for you - as proven by the cheating, and you are not the one for you - as proven by the lack of trust. You keep acting like a dog and then trying to fix your mistakes. My parents met her recently and everything seemed cool. What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). It's the best relationship I've ever had and she's everything I ever wanted. Personally, I 100% wouldve broken up with you over this. For context, she’s 32, I’m 25. This guy I’ve known for as long as my girlfriend and I have been dating, I don’t like. As for not trusting you to talk to this girl, your gf is saying that she doesn't trust the girl. She’s a cute girl, slim and stuff and I know a lot of guys are attracted to that. sominnsny67. Hi everyone, thanks for reading this and giving me some advice, English is not my first language so sorry for any spelling errors. Being concerned for her mental wellbeing, I decided to message her sister telling her that I was going to break up with my girlfriend and that I wanted her or one of her friends to come meet my girlfriend after we finished breaking up. 4. I feel like I keep hearing things like “my friends don’t like my boyfriend/girlfriend, BUT blah blah blah they don’t know them like I do and whatever self-deceiving reasons. Brain was basically my best friend from highschool who I smoked with almost everyday at one point but right before I started talking to my current girlfriend we had a falling out and stop talking. and again, I'm not referring to gossip from friends about what he may or may not have done with ex. Her friend (14M) asked her to go with him. My girlfriend then had to run some errands. 18 votes, 32 comments. You don't own anyone. What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and 5. Also, I don't post on reddit very often so my apologies if i jump around a bit. When then, as now, is in the city 120km from me for the uni and consequently at home alone I just can't. You discussed how this is hurting you but she’s continuing ti cross that boundary. What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and A more appropriate thing would maybe be "I don't love the idea, but I'll get used to it. My sister apologized for not telling me. Plus, your sex life is meh and you fight all the time. do you hear yourself my dude? she CHEATED on you. You don't get a free pass. I also talked with my sister who said she knew and my mom knew. I work from home all the time, my mental health is deteriorating, I feel depressed and anxious, and it seems to be getting worse. This is the main source of my anxiety, when we go out together she often hangs out and talks with her ex or ex friends with benefits and, despite me knowing she I don't know why you'd be blackpilled unless you are depressed or have another illness. We were in the car today and my Dad asked about her when he was dropping me off at work. Some are extraordinarily sensitive but a lot are damaged because is sexual assault and passed issues. She's insecure and jealous & that's not a healthy relationship whatsoever. Plus, her mom's house is on the way to my new job place. You know this hurt, but are willing to perpetuate it on others and that’s like attracting like. Don't remember? That's okay, clean slate for… You don't get a free pass. Just go along with them if you really love her. In fact my current girlfriend once had borrowed so money, and had forgot to get cash out to repay me. If you feel like you are being emotionally abused and manipulated, that means it's time to beat feet, not stick around. My girlfriend doesn’t trust me, I don’t know how to change it. My girlfriend 22 and I 23 have been in a relationship for almost a year, I love her and she loves me. Women have a sense about these things, and a woman willing to be 'the other woman' once, will do it again. He was also asking girls for nudes on social media and This is my first relationship. Also don’t use tinder to find a partner it’s not the best. Ignoring things like this just makes you complicit in the dysfunctional relationship. We are together since 6 years. ago. We occasionally argue about dumb stuff but we really don't have any big problems (thank God). I mean, I can't even get a read on her personality, I know her past with her family, I know her favorite color. My girlfriend got back just now. Apparently, my mom didn't want me to question things about myself. I dont want to be like "oh, dont go there" or sth like that. Your girlfriend is insecure. Hello, so, I just want to ask you guys how are you dealing with fact that your gf [17] is going to the club. There is absolutely no point in dating someone you don't trust or who doesn't trust you, it's just going to cause issues the whole time. If you know why, then sit down with her and discuss that and see if there is a way to work through that. My (24M) girlfriend (23F) doesn't trust me and thinks I'm gay. I don't trust my girlfriend. I insisted in her showing me her chats, wich she wouldn't want me to at all. Granted we've only been together for 3 months, but we've known each other for a year You don't get a free pass. It will just make it worse. I understand that you want to be with her but you have broken her trust and frankly, you don’t get a say in this situation. She’s liking his attention and you don’t know what is happening when they are together. By the way she's his friend in real life. 2. This is a pretty highschool way of looking at things. Here's my advice: Don't trust someone who has behaved in an untrustworthy way until they earn your trust back. Another occasionally buys her gifts. Let her figure out what she wants to do. I don’t trust my girlfriend anymore. This isn't a hurdle for you to get over, it's one for you two to navigate together. If you feel unsafe about your partner friends, then either: 1) they are not really "friends" or 2) you don't trust your partner at all. If you can’t trust her, there is no relationship. Me(27M) has been dating my girlfriend(29F) for 4 years now, the last year of our relationship has been long distance due to me moving to the United States from the UK for better education and better opportunities with higher pay in Healthcare data management. [new] My girlfriend of 1 year continues to be friends and hang with people who have asked her out before. sorry for how lengthy this post is: My gf (22/f) recently lied to me and I am not sure if I can trust her anymore. But that's just my personal opinion. She straight up says 'Well, you can open my mail, and look at my phone, I have nothing to hide!'. After 3 years, I still have hard times trusting my girlfriend. You should have a conversation with your girlfriend about your discomfort, though. I (F22) don't trust my boyfriend (M 23). there is no 'potentially great relationship' - she literally cheated My trust in her was never too high, that is built w time but I found after 2 months of dating that early on she misled me about her body count so that it was smaller than mine so I didn’t get upset. About 2 weeks into us dating she dropped an atomic bomb on me about how she cheated on If you can’t trust her do you really have a relationship. Earn their trust slowly. You can tell her (calmly and logically) that you feel jealous about her guy friends and would feel better if you'd met them and hang out with them as a group. I apologized and we have moved past it but she still thinks I don’t trust her. This girl is absolutely amazing, and all I want is to be with her. It's inexcusable. A friend of mine told me my boyfriend told him that I had a lot of my stuff at his place and basically moved in, so he has to deal with my shit no matter what happens with us. And if she reaches out to you once in awhile, she's probably into you. You can do better. If you can, I would definitely move on from that type of relationship. People in relationships should trust each other. I told her that if I see any kind of communication with him then it is over entirely. No grass is greener on the other side and you are an ass. If she makes you feel bad about this or refuses then you need to decide what you're willing to tolerate in a relationship. Tell her she's being an irrational, overly controlling pain in the ass and that her paranoia does not justify you cutting contact with old friends. I don’t feel that I’ve… You don't get a free pass. I don’t know if this is wrong of me to do and I don’t know if I would be considered too clingy/attached but I’ve been in a big groupchat with her for the past week and everytime she’d be ignoring me for hours, shes always talking in the groupchat which is filled with males, not a single female. uffrgumlhlrdbupapszu